“YOUR LIFE IS WRITTEN IN INDELIBLE INK There’s no going back to erase the past, tweak your mistakes, or fill in missed opportunities. When the moment’s over, your fate is sealed.
But if you look closer, you notice the ink never really dries on any our experiences. They can change their meaning the longer you look at them.
There are ways of thinking about the past that aren’t just nostalgia or regret. A kind of questioning that enriches an experience after the fact. To dwell on the past is to allow fresh context to trickle in over the years, and fill out the picture; to keep the memory alive, and not just as a caricature of itself. So you can look fairly at a painful experience, and call it by its name.
Time is the most powerful force in the universe. It can turn a giant into someone utterly human, just trying to make their way through. Or tell you how you really felt about someone, even if you couldn’t at the time. It can put your childhood dreams in context with adult burdens or turn a universal consensus into an embarrassing fad. It can expose cracks in a relationship that once seemed perfect. Or keep a friendship going by thoughts alone, even if you’ll never see them again. It can flip your greatest shame into the source of your greatest power, or turn a jolt of pride into something petty, done for the wrong reasons, or make what felt like the end of the world look like a natural part of life.
The past is still mostly a blank page, so we may be doomed to repeat it. But it’s still worth looking into if it brings you closer to the truth.
Maybe it’s not so bad to dwell in the past, and muddle in the memories, to stem the simplification of time, and put some craft back into it. Maybe we should think of memory itself as an art form, in which the real work begins as soon as the paint hits the canvas. And remember that a work of art is never finished, only abandoned.”
― The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows
Common sense should tell you, HOUSTON CLAN, that you teach your children how you want to be treated. I think you have. When you are older, vulnerable and can’t fight for yourself watch your back. Mrs. L. Houston watch you back also. When Dr. James children are tired of waiting for you to die, like with my mother, and they want their inheritance, guess what they will do. They will do exactly what you did to your father and my mother.
You didn’t earn my respect and you lost your father’s and my mother’s respect also. We will see about your children and how well they will respect you. If your example is any guess, I would guess you are in for a bumpy ride in your last years of your life.
NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS
1) Gossip Be more mindful. I do not consider myself a seeker or speaker of gossip as a characteristic of mine. But then again I think we all find ways of justifying our talk about others. My New Years Resolution is to be more mindful and alert to what comes out of my mouth and who may be paying the price for my words.- That doesn’t include politicians or cases of SELF-DEFENSE ie HOUSTON versus HOUSTON.
2) Take one day at a time – Pace myself, deal with what is in front of me now, don’t miss the moment it’s less overwhelming and more manageable.
3) Do one good deed a day, and not tell anyone about it
I actually have been doing this for quite a long time but I want to do more. And I don’t have a habit of telling people either. But there is always room for improvement.
Sometimes to heal a relationship one has to willfully “forget”.
After a long time of estrangement with my mother I decided that it was time for us to come together and live as mother and daughter.
I new my mother was not able to see the truth. She was not a woman to do much self reflection. It was too painful for her. Therefore, I felt it was incumbent upon me to step up and look past old wounds and create a new relationship with her. That meant I made a conscious and willful decision to ignore the past and just live in the moment with her. I had done quite a bit of self reflection and decided that pointing fingers at her and blaming her at this stage was not in either of our best interest. I stepped back into her life and focused all my attention on her needs. She was a needy woman and simple like a child in many ways. Giving her all the attention and ignoring her poor parental skills was the only way we were going to have any peace. I never at any time brought up the subject of our family life. She of course did, as I new she would, I just listened. It stayed like that until her death.
To me “forgiveness” is about doing what is right and in the best interest of the parties involved. This enabled us to be in each others presence and find peace in it.
My mother and I earned our relationship and how to forgive. I am very grateful that she died with me by her side. I believe she was relieved that it was me who was taking care of her and she new how much I loved her.
Maturity is when you stop trying to change people, and instead focus on changing yourself.
Maturity is when you accept people for who they are.
Maturity is when you understand that everyone is right in their own perspective.
Maturity is when you learn to “let go”.
Maturity is when you are able to drop “expectations” from a relationship and give for the sake of giving.
Maturity is when you understand that whatever you do, you do for your own peace.
Maturity is when you stop proving to the world how intelligent you are.
Maturity is when you focus on positives in people.
Maturity is when you do not seek approval from others.
Maturity is when you stop comparing yourself with others.
Maturity is when you are at peace with yourself.
Maturity is when you can differentiate between “need” and “want, and you can you can let go of your wants.
Maturity is when you stop attaching “happiness” to material things.
Written by: Arti Gupta, Live, you might cease to exist next moment
“Never, never be afraid to do what’s right. especially if the well-being of another, or animal, is at stake. Societies punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way.” Martin Luther King.
I make my “life” on SPEAKING UP for those who can’t speak for themselves. I channel my emotions into holding someone’s hand who is not able mentally or emotionally to protect themselves. It takes a huge toll on me. But, I am unable to look the other way. On the rare occasion when I have walked away I have been racked with shame. Just one more emotion for me to deal with.
“The garden is one of the two great metaphors for humanity.
The garden is about life and beauty and the impermanence of all living things.
The garden is about feeding your children, providing food for the tribe.
It’s part of an urgent territorial drive that we can probably trace back to animals storing food.
It’s a competitive display mechanism, like having a prize bull, this greed for the best tomatoes and English tea roses.
It’s about winning; about providing society with superior things; and about proving that you have taste, and good values, and you work hard.
And what a wonderful relief, every so often, to know who the enemy is.
Because in the garden, the enemy is everything: the aphids, the weather, time.
And so you pour yourself into it, care so much, and see up close so much birth, and growth, and beauty, and danger, and triumph.
And then everything dies anyway, right?
But you just keep doing it.”
Taken from the tv show “ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK”
A garden is where I have gone to hide, it has been a healing place for me to gather myself and start anew.
“If truth is what you seek, then the examined life will only take you on a long ride to the limits of solitude and leave you by the side of the road with your truth and nothing else.” – Thomas Liggoti
“A philosopher is a lover of wisdom. It takes tremendous discipline, it takes tremendous courage to think for yourself, to examine yourself. The Socratic imperative of examining yourself requires courage. You know, William Butler Yeats used to say “it takes more courage to examine the dark corners of your own soul than it does for a soldier to fight on the battlefield.” Courage to think critically” – Cornel West
“I can tell you, an examined life is definitely no picnic, however, I don’t know how one gets through life without close inspection” – Louise Fowler
During the many months that I have read my fellow bloggers posts I “listened”. Under these circumstances maybe “observed”, “read”, “understood” would be better words I don’t know. But “listen” seems to work for me. During this time I chose not to leave my imprint. I preferred to stay still and learn from you, my fellow bloggers.
I am not the kind of person who needs to be the centre of attention all the time, in fact being the “observer” is more to my liking. Through observation the healing started.
“I HAVE LEARNT SILENCE FROM THE TALKATIVE, TOLERANCE FROM THE INTOLERANT, AND KINDNESS FROM THE UNKIND: AND YET STRANGE, I AM GRATEFUL TO THOSE TEACHERS.” Khalil Gibran
The Power of True Kindness
“ONE HAND LIES, THE OTHER TELLS THE TRUTH”
I have great respect for our indigenous people here in North America and sadly we have treated them with the most appalling disrespect. We will be sorry; so stop and pay attention to the wisdom of these people. They have suffered enough. Here in Vancouver, a very rich city, has such extreme poverty living right along side the rich. My heart breaks for them. I have held them and listened to their broken hearts and wish we could all wake up to the riches they have for us, waiting and waiting to be heard.
This video is about a person forced into solitude and finds personal freedom.
There are many layers to solitude and it runs on a continuum, like everything. What level of solitude, and whether it is forced or self imposed, makes a big difference. Solitude can teach you so much. I have experienced this most of my life, on one level or another. First it was imposed on me, then I embraced it, now I crave it and need it.
I have been asked “how come you seem so smart for someone who did’t get much education” (I didn’t even get high school) Well, I did – the streets and solitude. I am also very good at pretending, not saying too much and saying enough to elicit trust.
Solitude meant, in large part, survival. You don’t have to worry about anyone else. You don’t have to worry if you are being lied to, you become stronger and more self-reliant. I know what my strengths are and what my weaknesses are and how to compensate. I got pretty good at that.
The down side is people misunderstand and misread you. Sometimes that is a good thing, sometimes not so much. It’s not so surprising that people would misread me if I am being really frank. You know if a wolf is injured or vulnerable it will not show it and will power through it until they drop. Showing vulnerability of course is not a good idea when in survival mode.
Problem for me is I have spent most of my life, 24/7, in survival mode. That is PTSD. And I am tired. Also, I am used to it. I would have to really trust you to let you see the real me.
Well, that’s kinda getting blown out the window with this internet blogging. I can’t complain I made a conscious and willful choice. It’s what I call “self defense”.
The book by Maya Angelou “I Know Why the Cage Bird Sings” was adapted to this song.
Go Forward With Courage
When you are in doubt, be still, and wait;
When doubt no longer exists for you then go forward with courage.
So long as mists envelop you, be still;
Be still until the sunlight pours through and dispels the mists
-As it surely will.
Then act with courage.
-Ponca Chief White Eagle