I am in the beginning stages of looking for funding, script writers and contacts with the intent of having a movie made of my life story
More to come……..
I am in the beginning stages of looking for funding, script writers and contacts with the intent of having a movie made of my life story
More to come……..
“YOUR LIFE IS WRITTEN IN INDELIBLE INK There’s no going back to erase the past, tweak your mistakes, or fill in missed opportunities. When the moment’s over, your fate is sealed.
But if you look closer, you notice the ink never really dries on any our experiences. They can change their meaning the longer you look at them.
Klexos.
There are ways of thinking about the past that aren’t just nostalgia or regret. A kind of questioning that enriches an experience after the fact. To dwell on the past is to allow fresh context to trickle in over the years, and fill out the picture; to keep the memory alive, and not just as a caricature of itself. So you can look fairly at a painful experience, and call it by its name.
Time is the most powerful force in the universe. It can turn a giant into someone utterly human, just trying to make their way through. Or tell you how you really felt about someone, even if you couldn’t at the time. It can put your childhood dreams in context with adult burdens or turn a universal consensus into an embarrassing fad. It can expose cracks in a relationship that once seemed perfect. Or keep a friendship going by thoughts alone, even if you’ll never see them again. It can flip your greatest shame into the source of your greatest power, or turn a jolt of pride into something petty, done for the wrong reasons, or make what felt like the end of the world look like a natural part of life.
The past is still mostly a blank page, so we may be doomed to repeat it. But it’s still worth looking into if it brings you closer to the truth.
Maybe it’s not so bad to dwell in the past, and muddle in the memories, to stem the simplification of time, and put some craft back into it. Maybe we should think of memory itself as an art form, in which the real work begins as soon as the paint hits the canvas. And remember that a work of art is never finished, only abandoned.”
― The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows
NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS
1) Gossip Be more mindful. I do not consider myself a seeker or speaker of gossip as a characteristic of mine. But then again I think we all find ways of justifying our talk about others. My New Years Resolution is to be more mindful and alert to what comes out of my mouth and who may be paying the price for my words.- That doesn’t include politicians or cases of SELF-DEFENSE ie HOUSTON versus HOUSTON.
2) Take one day at a time – Pace myself, deal with what is in front of me now, don’t miss the moment it’s less overwhelming and more manageable.
3) Do one good deed a day, and not tell anyone about it
I actually have been doing this for quite a long time but I want to do more. And I don’t have a habit of telling people either. But there is always room for improvement.
I have been told many times “just get over it”, stop living in the past. When I saw this it validated me. It gave me the words to explain how I feel about doing this blog and talking about my past and what I am trying to accomplish
Time doesn’t heal. If we do the work understanding may come. Forgiveness may come. And if you are really fortunate some peace will come. I am working on it. How can you get on with it?, something I have heard so often, because it is part of you. It is what has shaped you. It has become you. It changes you. I know I am not the person I was meant to be. I was a quiet gentle and thoughtful little girl but circumstances dictated that was going to get me dead.
To live with pain we must find a place inside our heads where we go. I call mine “My Secret Garden”. Flowers and trees and babbling brooks. There was one I used to go to not unlike this picture where there was a rock, just made for my butt, where I would sit under the falling water. Moments of peace. Maybe that is what it’s about. Moments!
GARDEN METAPHOR
“The garden is one of the two great metaphors for humanity.
The garden is about life and beauty and the impermanence of all living things.
The garden is about feeding your children, providing food for the tribe.
It’s part of an urgent territorial drive that we can probably trace back to animals storing food.
It’s a competitive display mechanism, like having a prize bull, this greed for the best tomatoes and English tea roses.
It’s about winning; about providing society with superior things; and about proving that you have taste, and good values, and you work hard.
And what a wonderful relief, every so often, to know who the enemy is.
Because in the garden, the enemy is everything: the aphids, the weather, time.
And so you pour yourself into it, care so much, and see up close so much birth, and growth, and beauty, and danger, and triumph.
And then everything dies anyway, right?
But you just keep doing it.”
Taken from the tv show “ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK”
A garden is where I have gone to hide, it has been a healing place for me to gather myself and start anew.