I keep on saying to myself, “just get over it, let it go”. Let go of what exactly? A life-time of trauma. Wow, I wish I could – believe me. I have spent enough time out of my life just trying to figure that one out. You just, well let it go, forget about it. I have spent parts of my life in trauma, then getting up, a few hours and few days and weeks overwhelmed with trauma. Then getting up again. Sometimes even years out of my life dealing with so much trauma upon trauma and getting up over and over and over.Why would anyone think I would like this.
I do have memories of real joy, love, fun and playfulness. It is in me. But those experiences are few and far between.
I do this blog because I have spent so much of my life trying to just “let it go”. And it is because I have not ultimately been able to do that I decided to let it all hang out. It’s there anyway. But mostly other peoples opinions and judgments. Not the truth, not my truth.
So when all stones are turned and all the i’s are dotted and everything has been said, examined and felt in the moment will I, perhaps, be able to LET IT GO.
I know how many people would like me to SHUT UP. I know how many people are very pissed off with me. Well, it’s too bad.