The problem with putting on a mask for the world, hiding who we are, we also hide from ourselves. We become that mask and we don’t see or know the self for who we really are anymore. Not until the lie has destroyed us and we are on our knees. Like I am and have nothing left to lose.
Our masks can be so convincing to others that we believe the lie. The cop in the HOUSTON CLAN works in “domestic violence”. Domestic violence has many masks. What I say about that is “he doesn’t have to look too far”. My mother felt abused by the HOUSTON CLAN. She even said that in documents presented to the courts. ( PLEASE SEE PAGES UP-TOP AND DOCUMENT 2 A-D), written by my mother Angela Houston. But she wasn’t believed. Their behavior towards her and me was acceptable to the courts. They were able to say whatever they wanted, with no evidence, and got away with it. That’s how good their masks are. Of course most of us would not be able to get away with it as well as the HOUSTON CLAN, you have to have money, gravitas and the heart (or lack thereof) to exert certain brands of abuse and get away with it. Oh, yes I experienced “domestic violent” too. Talk to me about it wont you.
I think that we gravitate towards certain work in life to learn what we need to learn not hide who we are. A certain job title automatically seems to give us a pass, like doctors or cops. But if you are a nobody, like I have been, rejected by family and extended family so they could protect their masks. Some of us though have to use certain masks to help us from drowning in despair because we feel so shamed. When family and extended family have humiliated and degraded you it is your mask that gives you the strength to put you head up high and pretend it doesn’t affect you. Until you get older and you can no longer keep that mask on, but you now completely hide. You don’t go outside without your sunglasses on and your hat because you don’t want anyone to see you (nevermind the mask) and what a hopeless disgrace your really are to the world
When you have a mask that enables you to move in the world getting the respect you don’t deserve it reinforces to everyone we are not okay the way we are. When we believe that we must wear that cop or doctor mask we believe that it is good and the cop who works for “family abuse” knows what family abuse is all about.
I ask this cop, “where you abused? Do you know what abuse really is or are you sitting in judgement? Do you know that abuse starts and ends with you? Why would you sit back and watch it happen and not do anything about it, actually participate and facilitate?
I want to die without my mask on. I want to die without someone else’s version of what my mask has meant. The thing that I used to protect myself. The thing that everyone wanted to strip away and place their meaning to who I am. Telling my narrative in a court of law, and interpreting it without knowing what you are talking about is ABUSE, did you know that? .