As a child my mother and I got along well provided I kept quite about the abuse I was getting. Plus she needed someone to talk to about what was happening to her.That person was me. Being a pleaser of a child and generally quite passive I listened as she talked and talked on and on over the years. Listening to her pain over time wore me down. I was overwhelmed with what I was dealing with so at at 13 I left home. The family was already so shattered I don’t even think anyone noticed or cared.
Apparently after I left one day she had the movers come into our house and remove everything except my brothers bed and clothes. I now had no home to go back to even if I wanted to. She had not informed my brother so when he came home from school everything was gone. She was not close to my brother in fact never bonded with him. We came to realize over the years he was not capable of bonding and it became our opinion he was a narcissist/sociopath like my father, but that wasn’t until recent years when we started to become aware of these issues.
So here is this woman who had really done the best she new how to get through life. I don’t think she really new how to be a mother, she never learnt that from her distant and disengaged mother. I think she likely expected to leave this planet never having to face her demons and hold herself accountable for anything.
So when her 3rd husband Dr. Bob died in 2009 and her step-children decided that the money that she had should go to them before my mother died. This was in direct contravention to Dr. Bob’s and her mirror wills. I have explain that in earlier post.
In order for the HOUSTON CLAN, her step=children, to get what they wanted they needed a reason besides them being greedy of course to fight in court to receive their share of the estate before she died. The court did overrule the will and gave them what they wanted. No evidence, just their word. They picked on me you see. I had no defense, no lawyer and no rights. They made up everything they could think of to eviscerate and destroy me. Some of it had come from my mother as she tried over the years to block out the truth and they twisted and turned the knife on me. Keeping in mind that in the over 34 years of our parents marriage I never ever had a real conversation with any of them, therefore, they didn’t know me. It suited them to make it up. They never tried to find out who I was and what my life had been like, they didn’t care. It didn’t suit their greedy agenda.
This started to unravel my mother and in those last 4 years of her life, while I took care of her she realized slowly what had happened to her and what had happened to me. She was too old to take any kind of action to defend me and this added to her sense of helplessness and despair. Coming to the realization that she in fact had fed into the lies her step-children were making, in a court of law, forced her into journeying into a level of self-discovery that takes a life time to go through. Years and years of therapy was not done to prepare her for what she had to face – herself. The guilt she felt and the deep deep sadness she was experiencing with no way out forced her to make the decision she wanted to die. The last thing she said before she died was, “sorry darling, it was all my fault”.