How fitting that my birthday is on May 21st, the cusp between Taurus and Gemini. All my life I have thought of myself as being the Taurus. Most everyone I have know has thought of me as a Gemini. Maybe it’s time for me to be a Gemini.
It feels like stepping across a log and gingerly moving closer and closer to get to the other side. I am, right now, about two steps in with several to go before I am on terra firma. Will I make it? Or, will I fall and splash into the cold and fast running water? I am shaking and nervous, albeit I know I am strong. I am a very strong person. The other side represents a new life for me.
Where I am now, and have been, has not been a healthy place. I will not continue doing the same thing over and over again.
I am in probably, if all goes well, the last 3rd of my life. I want to be happy. I also know no one is going to come along and save me. There is even a limit to what anyone can do for another. You have to do it yourself.
I applaud people who go into a “crisis of the soul” like I have with lots of loving family around to support them. I don’t have that and never did – ever.
When I think of how many friends/lovers I have had in my life who have been stellar beyond belief. Who have offered everything in their power to help. I don’t want to feel guilty about that anymore. I love them and thank them because if it wasn’t for the kindness of people along my journey who knows what would have happened to me.
It has been the love and support of kind people that I am here in this moment walking to a new faze and time.
I am declaring the beginning is here, I will start my life anew. I will likely stumble and fall. I will still look back because to not do that is to deny myself the truth of who I have been while I feel this moment in it’s fullness.