LOUISE FOWLER SPEAKS UP

This video is about a person forced into solitude and finds personal freedom.

There are many layers to solitude and it runs on a continuum, like everything. What level of solitude, and whether it is forced or self imposed, makes a big difference. Solitude can teach you so much. I have experienced this most of my life, on one level or another. First it was imposed on me, then I embraced it, now I crave it and need it.

I have been asked “how come you seem so smart for someone who did’t get much education” (I didn’t even get high school) Well, I did – the streets and solitude. I am also very good at pretending, not saying too much and saying enough to elicit trust.

Solitude meant, in large part, survival. You don’t have to worry about anyone else. You don’t have to worry if you are being lied to, you become stronger and more self-reliant. I know what my strengths are and what my weaknesses are and how to compensate. I got pretty good at that.

The down side is people misunderstand and misread you. Sometimes that is a good thing, sometimes not so much. It’s not so surprising that people would misread me if I am being really frank. You know if a wolf is injured or vulnerable it will not show it and will power through it until they drop. Showing vulnerability of course is not a good idea when in survival mode.
Problem for me is I have spent most of my life, 24/7, in survival mode. That is PTSD. And I am tired. Also, I am used to it. I would have to really trust you to let you see the real me.

Well, that’s kinda getting blown out the window with this internet blogging. I can’t complain I made a conscious and willful choice. It’s what I call “self defense”.