Mindfulness

You know when you feel like I do, not feeling present in the world in some ways and not wanting to be, it is very difficult to be mindful of your body, what you are eating, how you dress – everything.

For several years, then for several more years I was caregiver to my mother; at first going over from Vancouver to Victoria to help in some small way; then bringing her over to stay with me for the last couple of years.

It was a very very stressful time for my mother and me, mixed with the joy of being together. No elderly person should be spending the last years of their lives fighting for the money/property that belonged to them, but that is the way it was.

Anyone who has been care-giver to anyone knows the deal around caring for another human being, that depends on you for everything. I subjugated my mindfulness to the care of my mother. That is the way it was, had to be and was my privilege to do. So when she was literally dying I had spent weeks not knowing if I had eaten, had any water, bathed. I had a bladder infection. All ladies know what that feels like – I ignored it. So 5 hours before she died I collapsed. Falling on my foot and fracturing it. When I called the ambulance, leaving my mother in someones care (sent by Coastal Health Authority) the paramedics said (apparently) to the emergency they thought I was about to die my blood pressure was so low.

My point is read blogs like http://dreambigdreamoften.co/ is where we can learn about Mindfulness. When we loose the ability to be mindful we let go of our personal power. It does not help you, or anyone around you, to let go of mindfulness.