LOUISE FOWLER SPEAKS UP

…………………………….The Case of HOUSTON versus HOUSTON……………………………

  • A BOOK & MOVIE SCRIPT OF MY LIFE IS IN THE WORKS
  • a LETTER of massive consequences and took the lives of two vulnerable women
  • A PLUM BLOSSOM: SOULS TEMPERED IN THE DEPTH OF EXPERIENCE, GROWING IN STRENGTH AND UNYIELDING COURAGE
  • A TROUBLED LIFE – #1 COMPLEX PTSD
  • A TROUBLED LIFE – #2 DYSLEXIA
  • A. LOUISE
  • A. Louise continued
  • AN EXAMINED LIFE
  • ANGELA
  • Dear HOUSTON CLAN: page #1
  • DEAR HOUSTON CLAN: Page #2
  • Doctor “Bob” Houston
  • DOCUMENT #1
  • DOCUMENT #2 A-D Letter written by Angela
  • DOCUMENT #3 A-G Synopsis
  • DOCUMENT #4 A-D
  • DOCUMENT #5 A-D
  • DOCUMENT #6
  • DOCUMENTS – Miscellaneous
  • HOUSTON versus HOUSTON – This could happen to you – MY STATEMENT #1
  • I REALIZE, I ACCEPT!
  • The Doctor-The Power of Attorney – The Harm Done – MY STATEMENT #2
  • THE SHAMING OF LOUISE
  • The Silent Hemorrhage of my Soul – MY STATEMENT #3
  • The Silver Spoons and the Forgotten Child – MY STATEMENT #4
  • Tony and Susan – Birds of a feather flock together

ANGELA – My Mother

Posted by Louise Fowler on May 12, 2018
Posted in: Angela Houston, DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston, Dr. George Frederick (Bob) Houston. Leave a comment

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My Mother Angela.

She was born in Great Britain in 1920. She had an older sister and brother. Her father died when she was about 10 years old and was raised by her mother. As the baby of the family she was favored by her mother and I think, at that time, there was some jealousy. Her father came from a long line of HOODS. The best know Hood was Lord Admiral Hood who fought alongside Lord Nelson. Even further back their was a “lady in waiting” for King Henry the 8th. They were part of the elite of British society at that time. The fly in the ointment was her father married, metaphorically speaking, the “downstairs maid”. Consequently he and his wife (my mother’s mother) were disowned. My mother never met or saw any member of the Hood family. The house they lived in was beyond their means after her father died however it became somewhat clear when my mother got older that some member of the HOOD clan secretly paid for her and her siblings upkeep. She had vague memories of a man, about once a year, coming by the house and after the children were sent to their rooms quiet talk took place in the kitchen and then he left as mysteriously and he came.

Note: One of the several reasons I wrote this blog was due to the fact the HOOD CLAN have blogs and records kept of the line of HOODS. My mothers name is recorded as so mine likely will be too. I wanted to make sure the facts were out there. Not the fake facts as recorded by the HOUSTON CLAN.

My mother left home at about 16 years old and got a secretarial job with the Air-force auxiliary where she met her first husband. He was a test pilot. He too was part of the British elite but when they decided to get married they were shunned from the family and when he died two weeks after their marriage she heard nothing from his family.

Not long after her first husbands death she decided to leave Britain and went to the airport. She asked them when is the next plane leaving for New Zealand. in the hope of moving there.  She was told not for a day or two, I think. She then asked when is the next plane and where is it going. She was told, Johannesburg, South Africa. She said, “Ok, I will go there”.

My mother met my father in Johannesburg and of course struck up a relationship and married. As was probably the case with many women at that time she assumed the housewife role and did as her husband told her to do. He was a very strong-willed person and I now know he was a narcissist. We didn’t have the words in those days but my mother and I sure knew how he made us feel. He was verbally and psychologically very abusive to her. I will not talk about what he did to me here because this is about my mother. Suffice it to say she did nothing to protect me. I understand her now and why she did not.

Her first child, my brother, was born to her joy. She wanted so much to be a mother.  I have been told by some that when I was born about 18 months later and onward my brother resented me and made it quite clear he did not want me around, that too I will not address right now. My mother’s heart was broken by her husband and now her son. And long after she divorced my father her son continued to hurt her to such a degree it was painful to watch. I was her ear, and she talked, complained, cried to me about her son so much and for so long it hurt me and our relationship. I therefore left home and everyone behind at age 13. I have addressed the details in other posts in the past.

Now, in retrospect and understanding my mother I have nothing but compassion for this woman. She had a husband who broke her down and a son who never ever said a kind word to her or did a kind thing for her. And she no longer had me I was off trying to protect myself.

Many years later, now in Canada my mother met her 3rd husband Dr. Bob Houston. He adored her and I think she thought she had died and gone to heaven. She didn’t know a man could treat a woman so well. Although he was a doctor he was due to retire shortly after their marriage and for the over 34 years of their marriage she paid 3/4 of the expenses. But she didn’t mind, she loved him and she knew he loved her. They had a good life and a wonderful marriage. The fly in the ointment was his 4 spoiled, pompous and arrogant children.

I have addressed on this blog many times what this HOUSTON CLAN did to her, and me therefore I will, once again, not address that right now. There is just so much a person can take. She and I had reconciled after many years of separation. I found that two people who have suffered so much cannot help each other and that separation was necessary for hers and my healing. Although I have also discovered there is not healing for so much of what she and I went through however we did come to a place where we forgave each other and decided to spend the last few years of her life (she was not 86) enjoying each other and once again learning about each other.

After her husband Dr. Bob died and she was now 89 we decided to bring her to Vancouver from Victoria to live with me. On so many many levels it was like heaven for us. We chatted, laughed, played, cried and enjoyed each other. But as time went by and the HOUSTON CLAN had eviscerated her and me and she realized how much pain I was in she got so sad. I tried so hard to keep my pain from her but she knew, as most mother’s would. All that she had ignored about what had happened to me and her accountability surfaced realizing I was shunned from the family and left at age 13 to fend for myself. She could get past her guilt and pain about what she could have and should have done to help me. She deteriorate emotionally but was completely of sound mind. She came to me one day when she was 91 telling me she wanted to die. 6 months later she starved herself to death, taking 2 weeks to die. There was nothing I could do but watch and take care of her. She believed, as I do, we have a right to choose when we are going to die and that she did. I asked her if she wanted me to call her son, she said, “no, he hates me anyway.” And of course she did not want me to call the HOUSTON CLAN. I believe these few years after her death it was the HOUSTON CLAN at the core of why she wanted to die. I knew it to be true then and I do believe it now.

This picture I have posted was before all this pain and hurt my poor mother endured when life was hopeful and joyous. She was a good person and did her best to be kind and loving and she did well at that, she just didn’t realize that some people are incapable of receiving. I miss her so much and think of her all the time.

I love you dear Mum.

 

 

MY EXAMINED LIFE – THE MOVIE

Posted by Louise Fowler on October 6, 2017
Posted in: Abuse, Angela Houston, DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston, Dr. George Frederick (Bob) Houston, Little girl lost, PTSD and mental challenges, Transforming, What are you made of?. Tagged: MY EXAMINED LIFE - THE MOVIE. 2 Comments

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I am in the beginning stages of looking for funding, script writers and contacts with the intent of having a movie made of my life story

More to come……..

Guidelines I live by

Posted by Louise Fowler on September 7, 2017
Posted in: DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston. 4 Comments

GUIDELINES/rules according to Louise

A guideline is a statement by which to determine a course of action. A guideline aims to streamline particular processes according to a set routine or sound practice. By definition, following a guideline is never mandatory. Guidelines are not binding and are not enforced.

I prefer to call it guidelines rather than rules quite frankly because I like to allow for flexibility and change as I evolve and become for aware.

Manners: Always say please and thank you. Be aware of what is in the best interest of all sides. Respect cultures differences and agendas with politeness.

Drugs/alcohol: Know your limits, only partake in an environment you know and with people you trust, or take a pass.

Balance: lead with your heart and your head. And let common-sense prevail.

Do-diligence: Do your homework. If you are in a position to make life=altering decisions for yourself, or others, make sure you have your ducks in a row and you have gathered all the facts.

Gratitude: Remember no one is obligated to do anything for you so when they do – be grateful and be sure to express it.

Commitments: one example – Always be on time, if an appointment with anyone is important enough to make it is important to be on-time. Your time is not more important than anyone else’s, bar none.

Your word/truth: always tell the truth, without the truth you have nothing. Know the truth, speak the truth and live your truth. Lies serves no one they just set up a domino effect of destruction. Lying serves no one albeit telling the truth can be challenging to communicate at times. Step up and demonstrate good character.

Words matter: Have a kind word for others, compassion expressed up-lifts us all. Likewise, hurtful words can destroy a life.

Speak-up:  for what is right and decent not just for yourself but in defense of those who cannot defend themselves.

Perspective: Put yourself in other people’s shoes. See their perspective. Look beyond yourself. Life is not all about you. When you look at someone see them, not look for a reflection of yourself.

Boundaries: Know when to stay and talk, when to fight, and when to walk away. Know when to give, know when to demand, know when to say no, know when enough is enough.

Body/mind/spirit:  Remember you will get old and what you do when you are young will determine the quality of your life as you age. Live your life from a holistic perspective.

Judgement: we are judged by how we treat the most vulnerable – the young, the elderly our sick and our animals.

What’s worth it: Some things are worth dying for: know what they are.

Mental Health:  Don’t let anyone invalidate your feelings and your experiences. Don’t let other people opinions force you into silence and to live a secret, it will make you sick. Don’t let anyone tell you to let it go, get on with it, stop living in the past and move on. If you have been violated by someone else look for help and keep talking until you feel you have found justice and resolution.

Sex: Have sex with anyone you want provided if it is with someone who is able to consent.  However, never have sex with someone at your workplace or on your home territory unless you are very very sure. Enjoy responsibly.

Heroes: choose your role-models carefully and don’t follow blindly.

Power: is a gift, don’t abuse it, be humble. Arbitrary use of power is abuse.

Money:  is a tool that can be taken away at any time. Respect the power of the dollar. It can be used for good or evil.

Breaking the rules: there is a time to follow the rules and a time to break them. Wisdom is knowing where the red line is. If you don’t have your own rules/guidelines you will be easily influenced to follow someone else’s.

Red flags & your instict: eg – fear is a red flag that maybe you are going in the wrong direction. Your gut will alert you to rethink a situation, listen to it.  It is your higher self speaking to you and it is in your best interest to listen and take heed.

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE ME

Posted by Louise Fowler on August 27, 2017
Posted in: Abuse, DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston, Little girl lost, PTSD and mental challenges. 2 Comments

They had me pegged, my family and the HOUSTON CLAN before even getting to know me to justify what they intended to do so they didn’t have to look at themselves.

I have talked about them. But, now I will talk about me.

I never found a home and never found comfort in an identity that was not molded by perpetrators, the ones that did me harm and the ones that turned their backs on the “lost and forgotten child”. I have flipped through my life like the pages in a book, trying to make sense of it. To uncover the secrets that have gone buried in shame and hidden even from myself for so long. Asking myself over and over what does this all mean.

I know how my story ends but the question for me has been “how did it happen; how did I get here?” For so long I got immersed in the jumble of words like “Louise, what is the matter with you. don’t play victim, get on with it, leave the past behind you, you are too sensitive.”

What kind of story is mine – a lost and forgotten child, the one that everyone told me I was – lazy, stupid, a problem. Am I just a pathetic character who is just a victim to my own stupidity? Or is there something else going on here. I have flipped back and forth through time looking for the clues to why my journey took me down a certain path and shattered me into little pieces.  A path of loneliness, loss, poverty and victimization. Oh, I know my pictures of me tell you a different story. But what you don’t see is the pain just beneath the surface. The part of me that hides and only shows it’s face when I can give you what you want to see, or the face I need you to see. The perfect picture, the one that I got so good at looking “right”. I hid the broken and sick me. You don’t want to see the pain that left me with scars from abuse, molestation, poverty and isolation. I fear now it’s too late for me, my life is over. There is no time left to repair the damage done.

No one asked me, “Louise what do you want to be when you grow-up”, no one directed me to become the best I could be. I never got my balance and only focused on my flaws which of course had me spinning in circles. The fire that barely flickered over the years is now dimming. I am who I am, for better or worse. It’s too late to wonder about the person I will become. I have told the world about who I am, but it doesn’t matter any more because everyone had already made up their minds. Their agenda was to discredit me, shut me up and close me down. GASLIGHTING was what it was. Protecting the agenda of those who needed to keep their squeaky-clean reputations, of being the do-gooders, the stellar members of society, the perpetrators/abusers behind the masks. They don’t want you speaking their dirty little secrets. You see the people who have hurt me know I saw through them, I know who they are. I have had too much experience with the likes of them to not see behind their masks and it scared them.

I became someone I didn’t know either to keep others happy and safe and when I couldn’t pretend I hid. Now and then I said, “Enough is Enough”, hence this blog because there is just so much a person can take. I would rock the boat from time to time and then slither back into silence which just fed into their ignorance of who I am, it gave them fuel to say, “look I told you so, she is an evil one”.  They them scrambled to make sure no one believed me. Of course they had a platform, a voice to be heard and I did not. They won. I can’t. I’m done.

I have read so many peoples blogs over the last couple of years and know there are so many people like me. People who got used and abused and had no voice. The internet came along and gave us one. But oh there are so many mean ones out there too who would like to shut us down. Don’t show us who we are, don’t let the world see how mean we can be. We will take you, abuse you and shut you up and knock you down. Be quiet Louise, and all the Louise’s out there.

But, we wont. We write our blogs for us. We need a voice, we need to have our words heard and the rest of you can shut up or don’t read.

It’s too late for me. But I say to all the VICTIMS of the mean and abusive people keep talking.

 

YOUR LIFE IS WRITTEN IN INDELIBLE INK…….but the ink never really dries

Posted by Louise Fowler on April 7, 2017
Posted in: Angela Houston, DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston, Dr. George Frederick (Bob) Houston, Quotes, Transforming, Wisdom. 2 Comments

“YOUR LIFE IS WRITTEN IN INDELIBLE INK There’s no going back to erase the past, tweak your mistakes, or fill in missed opportunities. When the moment’s over, your fate is sealed.

But if you look closer, you notice the ink never really dries on any our experiences. They can change their meaning the longer you look at them.

Klexos.

There are ways of thinking about the past that aren’t just nostalgia or regret. A kind of questioning that enriches an experience after the fact. To dwell on the past is to allow fresh context to trickle in over the years, and fill out the picture; to keep the memory alive, and not just as a caricature of itself. So you can look fairly at a painful experience, and call it by its name.

Time is the most powerful force in the universe. It can turn a giant into someone utterly human, just trying to make their way through. Or tell you how you really felt about someone, even if you couldn’t at the time. It can put your childhood dreams in context with adult burdens or turn a universal consensus into an embarrassing fad. It can expose cracks in a relationship that once seemed perfect. Or keep a friendship going by thoughts alone, even if you’ll never see them again. It can flip your greatest shame into the source of your greatest power, or turn a jolt of pride into something petty, done for the wrong reasons, or make what felt like the end of the world look like a natural part of life.

The past is still mostly a blank page, so we may be doomed to repeat it. But it’s still worth looking into if it brings you closer to the truth.

Maybe it’s not so bad to dwell in the past, and muddle in the memories, to stem the simplification of time, and put some craft back into it. Maybe we should think of memory itself as an art form, in which the real work begins as soon as the paint hits the canvas. And remember that a work of art is never finished, only abandoned.”
― The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

When the blow takes you down

Posted by Louise Fowler on March 29, 2017
Posted in: Angela Houston, DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston, Dr. George Frederick (Bob) Houston. 2 Comments

What do you do when you are knocked to the ground. When you are hit so hard that all you want is to die.

Being separated from my mother for so long, then overcoming and re-bonding with her, has been the gift of a lifetime. It took so much to get there.

Then to be knocked to the ground by a group of people who were somehow threatened by that. Apparently, I battered the beehive. Plans were afoot long before I arrived back on the scene and now they lashed out with a vengeance.

The consequence to their actions led to my mother killing herself. I watched her take about 2 weeks to die. She shriveled up to nothing as she starved herself to death, with no underlying disease. This poor woman felt so much pain and so much guilt that she could not go on. I was helpless to do anything but make things as comfortable for her as possible. I told her 20 times a day how much I loved her and as long as she could talk she said she loved me back.

It has been 4 years now and it feels like yesterday and I can’t move on. Her son wasn’t there for her and neither were her step-children. The people who took so much from her and left her when she was no longer useful. She provided a very good life-style for her husband who did not have the money to take care of her adequately. According to his 4 children he wanted, after his death, to deprive his wife of over 34 years (my mother) of her spousal rights in favor of his rich privileged well-educated (because of the help of my mother) children. He told everyone she was the love of his life and he loved her so much, everyone know that. I don’t believe that he would do such a thing. And there is no evidence that he did. But their word/money/power is sacrosanct and when you are a doctor, a cop, a nurse and a contractor all wanting her money you can get it.  They knew that. If it had not been for her it would have cost them to take care of their father. They took from her and then broken her heart.

The trauma I have experienced so many many times in my life had come to a good place until I was hit once again with trauma and the abusive behavior of people who where not interested in knowing the truth, just money.  But this time it was the blow that has taken me to my knees and I can’t get up.

I have written this blog to keep me alive, and that it has. But there seems no way out for me. Sometimes in life we receive a death blow that takes you down to which there is no recovery.

A Victim – A Survivor – A witness

Posted by Louise Fowler on March 19, 2017
Posted in: DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston. 6 Comments

On Taking Sides

A number of friends, in the past, have also know some of my family, mostly my father, My father was a “Trump” figure to me, charming, loud, controlling, pathological lair and mean. I didn’t talk about the abuse I have experienced until, mostly, a couple of years ago. Perpetrators are good at keeping their victims quiet. One of the things they do is befriend your friends, as my father did. He would call them and say he was so worried about me he didn’t know what to do and generally make me look like something I was not.

Any expert in “Domestic Violence” should know that the “victim” is complicit in protecting the perpetrators through fear. All victims of domestic violence hopes their friends will see what you are going through. But my friends either didn’t or closed their eyes – willful ignorance.

I believe that when people do know that someone is being abused (or has) they need to made a choice you or the perpetrator. To remain friendly with both further victimizes the victim.

I always wondered what people where thinking knowing I left home at age 13. Is that normal. I don’t think. Why did not one single “friend” ask me why I left? I suppose my father had convinced them that I was delinquent in some way.

What I want to say to these “friends”, I feel betrayed by you. I feel let down that you felt being friends with my father was okay. It was not.This action of yours further isolated me, took away from any support and safety, I felt devalued by you and that is your explanation why I am no longer in contact with you. You wouldn’t make your choice but I am taking it now.

http://letterofapology.blogspot.ca/2015/08/on-taking-sides.html

USE YOUR COMMON SENSE

Posted by Louise Fowler on March 12, 2017
Posted in: DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston, Music, What are you made of?, Wisdom. Leave a comment

Common sense should tell you, HOUSTON CLAN, that you teach your children how you want to be treated. I think you have. When you are older, vulnerable and can’t fight for yourself watch your back. Mrs. L. Houston watch you back also. When Dr. James children are tired of waiting for you to die, like with my mother, and they want their inheritance, guess what they will do. They will do exactly what you did to your father and my mother.

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You didn’t earn my respect and you lost your father’s and my mother’s respect also. We will see about your children and how well they will respect you. If your example is any guess, I would guess you are in for a bumpy ride in your last years of your life.

What I will take to my grave

Posted by Louise Fowler on February 1, 2017
Posted in: DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston. 5 Comments

For so long I have been stuck in feeling shamed and embarrassed I didn’t get an education (only grade 8 which means I didn’t go to high school) because I didn’t know that I had what we now call dyslexia. I think the dyslexia came about as a result of sexual and mental abuse. I was accused of being lazy, stupid……when in fact I survived stuff most people would not. How stupid does that make me?

I was thinking recently, after this long and difficult journey of self-discovery, that at this time of my life (middle age + ) that in fact I should feel proud of myself.

I lived on the streets but I was not a drug addict. And that is not a judgement of those who are. I was hurt and abused but I did not become an abuser. Other than the usual stumbles one goes through in life as a result of just being human I have remained a good and decent person. I don’t like gossip perhaps because I have been at the receiving end of so much and I look for the good in people. I pick my fights and am tolerant of peoples foibles and eccentricities. I don’t look for trouble and my natural desire is to be kind and helpful.

I have survived this life by fighting back when I had to. It’s funny how that has been perceived by my family and extended family as being a fault, something that I should feel ashamed of because that makes me a bad person. But then when you have lived with everything how can you understand someone who has not. I lived through what so many have not, why because I am a strong person. I was fortunate to have strong and healthy body. I am grounded in my values and have a great sense of right and wrong. I will fight to protect those who cannot protect and defend themselves, not just for me.

I will give someone, who is worse off than me, my last morsel of food. But, I am not foolish and do not squander my resources. I feel grounded in common sense and look for proof of what I thinking and expect my heart to let me know what is in my best interest and those around me. I don’t see myself as being an island unto myself although I am a loner.

That has been my blessing and my curse. My desire, wiliness and drive is to retreat and disappear when I need to refuel. I have been seriously criticized for that and accused of all kinds of terrible things because I determined a long time ago I could not depend on or trust those who were expected to protect me.The little mind of my family and the HOUSTON CLAN has germinated a vision and narrative of me that does not exist – except in there shallow little minds.

There is no doubt that I often teeter on fragility as times. I also have harbored some anger. But I have worked on it. I have worked on myself. I have followed a spiritual path without being drowned in it. I do not affiliate with any group, religion or belief system but at the same time I follow them all in some way. I respect others to think whatever is right for them and do not have a strong need for people to agree with me or not agree with me.

So many times over the last few years with my mother she was shocked at realizing I was not the person she has manufactured in her mind to protect herself. In fact that’s part of the reason she killed herself. She had a huge sense of shame at what she had created in her mind about me, with the help and manipulation of the HOUSTON CLAN.I feel very angry with the HOUSTON CLAN because these people know better. That’s what makes this situation so sick. Is these people should know better. I am proud that I am not like them. I am proud that when I was given the responsibility to take care of my mother – I DID! I fulfilled my duties as her daughter with honour and integrity. I can take that to my grave.

Dehumanizing the people we hurt

Posted by Louise Fowler on February 1, 2017
Posted in: Abuse, DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston. 4 Comments

What happens to a person when they are used to dehumanize them to further their own agenda?  What happens when you use your money and power to eviscerate a person to further your position of dominance and to gain access to something that does not belong to you? What happens when people misuse their privilege in life to discredit someone because they are in the way of their greedy agenda? What happens to a person that is “shamed and humiliated” by their family and extended family? A family of privilege. A family that got everything they wanted in life, but it wasn’t enough. So they had to take the one person, the outsider, the poor and uneducated one, the one who was left behind because she could not serve them anymore, and break her down till there was almost nothing left. What happens to a person that has been molested by 3 family members, left to rot on the streets and out in a mean world at age 13 to fend for herself because of abuse and neglect in the home. But now has to endure the mean-spirited, ignorant and greedy conduct of a group of shallow minded privileged people. The one person that did not have the money or power to defend herself was the one they picked on and left for dead. The one person who has never ever done anything to them. Isn’t that odd.

You know what kind of people do things like this, a doctor – Dr. James Houston, and his silly wife Louise, a cop – Inspector Clark Russell, nurse – Shelaigh Russell, a contractor – Tony Houston, his crazy wife – Lorene (she belongs in a home somewhere something is wrong with her), Diana Shirling and George – too rich to work I think. And my direct family members Tony Fowler and Susan Stroud who both molested me. Philip King Jones who screwed around on his wife all their married life. All sitting in judgement of me. All seem to have something to say about me. The one person they had never really had a conversation with of any meaning substance and consequence.  Not at any point – ever – have they showed one ounce of compassion and kindness to me. Maybe because you sensed I would lash back and you wanted to make sure I couldn’t. Well you were mistaken.

I will tell you what happens because I was the one that was attached by a family and extended family of ignorant, but well-educated and placed, people. People who used the excuse of someone else, Dr. Bob Houston, who was also vulnerable and unable to defend himself, to justify their ignorance and greed.Trying to turn this sweet old man against his beloved wife. When he wouldn’t what did they do – they lied.

This is what this blog is all about. It will tell you how people in high places will pull out all the stops to take away from a little old lady and her vulnerable daughter and stomp on them until the old lady is dead with their lies and accusations. Killing herself because of what they did to her and her daughter. It will tell you what these ignorant and shallow people did to me to make themselves feel better and line their full pockets with more money. Check out HOUSTON VERSUS HOUSTON (on-line) and the documents will show you exactly how much money they have.

HOUSTON CLAN do you feel good about yourselves? Can you live with yourselves?

I have shown everyone’s pictures down the side of this blog because they need to put their face to support their behavior. If they are proud of themselves they wont mind now will they.  If you are too ashamed to have your face behind your actions you should have thought about that before.

I put my face on my site to make sure you all see who I am. I am not ashamed. I expose everything so you can know who I am. I am not the one who needs to feel shame.

Yes, I know…..

Posted by Louise Fowler on January 11, 2017
Posted in: Abuse, DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston. Leave a comment

download yes, I know…..

It’s worth repeating……..Gaslighting

Posted by Louise Fowler on January 11, 2017
Posted in: Abuse, DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston, PTSD and mental challenges. Leave a comment

WHAT DOES IT MEAN

Gaslighting is the attempt of one person to overwrite another person’s reality.

“Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where the abuser manipulates situations repeatedly to trick the victim into distrusting his or her own memory and perceptions. Gaslighting is an insidious form of abuse. It makes victims question the very instincts that they have counted on their whole lives, making them unsure of anything. Gaslighting makes it very likely that victims will believe whatever their abusers tell them regardless as to their own experience of the situation. Gaslighting often precedes other types of emotional and physical abuse because the victim of gaslighting is more likely to remain in other abusive situations as well.

The term “gaslighting” comes from the 1938 British play “Gas Light” wherein a husband attempts to drive his wife crazy using a variety of tricks causing her to question her own perceptions and sanity. Gas Light was made into a movie both in 1940 and 1944.” from Healthy Place.

 

Stop Shaming the Victim

Posted by Louise Fowler on January 11, 2017
Posted in: DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston, PTSD and mental challenges. Leave a comment

PLEASE STOP SHAMING THE VICTIM

victim-shaming

This one is very close to me. I know this one to the depths of my soul. I have been shamed, blamed, embarrassed and humiliated by ignorant people who will not take responsibility for their own actions. What is interesting about the “president elect” is he is showing this to the world, we can see how these people, the “blamers” work, They are deflecting accountability. There is nothing worse or more dangerous than a person who has lots to hide and who insists on controlling everything. When they can no longer do that and keep everyone quiet they go on the attack. I know, believe me, I am the victim. My name is VICTIM. i am not a crazy person, I am not a lying person, I am not a narcissist. I am a victim. If you can’t be accountable and you wont speak that truth *point your finger* I have had those kind of fingers pointed at me all my life by narcissists and sociopaths. I can only imagine how angry they must be with me right now. SHUT UP LOUISE! I say back “point that finger.

No one chooses to be a victim – victims have enough shame to go around

Posted by Louise Fowler on January 11, 2017
Posted in: Abuse, DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston. Leave a comment

The amount of shaming and humiliation I have gone through in my life as a result of narcissists and other ignorant people blaming me for the crimes perpetrated on me is shocking. The piling up of abuse to shut the victim up is beyond my comprehension.

Blame

Posted by Louise Fowler on January 11, 2017
Posted in: Abuse, DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston. Leave a comment

“Blame is a Defense Against Powerlessness

Betrayal trauma changes you. You have endured a life-altering shock, and are likely living with PTSD symptoms— hypervigilance, flashbacks and bewilderment—with broken trust, with the inability to cope with many situations, and with the complete shut down of parts of your mind, including your ability to focus and regulate your emotions.

Nevertheless, if you are unable to recognize the higher purpose in your pain, to forgive and forget and move on, you clearly have chosen to be addicted to your pain and must enjoy playing the victim.

And the worst is, we are only too ready to agree with this assessment! Trauma victims commonly blame themselves. Blaming oneself for the shame of being a victim is recognized by trauma specialists as a defense against the extreme powerlessness we feel in the wake of a traumatic event. Self-blame continues the illusion of control shock destroys, but prevents us from the necessary working through of the traumatic feelings and memories to heal and recover.”
― Sandra Lee Dennis

An extended family of “Flying Monkeys”

Posted by Louise Fowler on January 10, 2017
Posted in: Abuse, DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston, PTSD and mental challenges. Leave a comment

flying-monkeys2

Are you being used as a flying monkey for a narcissist?

I know those “flying monkeys” now. I have lived so much of my life not understanding what was going on around me. Why am I being run down, abused, lied about, ignored, isolated, used as scapegoat to find out “all” the truth now in my middle age+ time of my life. I feel like my life has been wasted and used by these evil people, the narcissists of my family and extended family who elicited the support of the weak and vulnerable, like my mother, to bid their will. In the last 5 years of my mother’s life we figured it all out and it pissed of Dr. James and his little gang of “flying monkeys”.

Half-truths can be deeply demoralizing

Posted by Louise Fowler on January 9, 2017
Posted in: Abuse, DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston, PTSD and mental challenges, What are you made of?. Leave a comment

“Attitude Is Everything

We live in a culture that is blind to betrayal and intolerant of emotional pain. In New Age crowds here on the West Coast, where your attitude is considered the sole determinant of the impact an event has on you, it gets even worse.In these New Thought circles, no matter what happens to you, it is assumed that you have created your own reality. Not only have you chosen the event, no matter how horrible, for your personal growth. You also chose how you interpret what happened—as if there are no interpersonal facts, only interpretations.

The upshot of this perspective is that your suffering would vanish if only you adopted a more evolved perspective and stopped feeling aggrieved. I was often kindly reminded (and believed it myself), “there are no victims.” How can you be a victim when you are responsible for your circumstances?

When you most need validation and support to get through the worst pain of your life, to be confronted with the well-meaning, but quasi-religious fervor of these insidious half-truths can be deeply demoralizing. This kind of advice feeds guilt and shame, inhibits grieving, encourages grandiosity and can drive you to be alone to shield your vulnerability.”
― Sandra Lee Dennis

False Accusations

Posted by Louise Fowler on January 9, 2017
Posted in: DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston. Leave a comment

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Things Money Can’t Buy: then why is money like “god” to us.

Posted by Louise Fowler on January 5, 2017
Posted in: DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston, Wisdom. Leave a comment

things-that-are-not-negotiable

The Adverse Childhood Experience

Posted by Louise Fowler on January 5, 2017
Posted in: Abuse, DO NO HARM? The Case of Houston v. Houston, PTSD and mental challenges. Leave a comment

I have had issues with my “immune system” for a lot of my life.Not surprising.

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  • LOUISE FOWLER’s

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  • EXAMINED LIFE….

    Competition swimmer
    Competition swimmer
    17 years old
    17 years old
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    louise 4
  • A TROUBLED LIFE #1
    A TROUBLED LIFE #1
  • A TROUBLED LIFE #2
    A TROUBLED LIFE #2
  • ......IS ONE STEP AWAY
    ……IS ONE STEP AWAY
  • EMOTIONAL/PHYSICAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL
    EMOTIONAL/PHYSICAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL
  • THIS BLOG IS MY PROTEST
    THIS BLOG IS MY PROTEST
  • Dear Readers:

    My two sites have had over 3 million views. Thank You.

    *I am constantly working on the pages, UP-TOP, so I hope you will re check them from time to time.*

    I have turned off the “Like” button some time ago. Readers have told me it is too difficult to put a like to something so nasty. They email with their feelings about what I have written. Thank You.

    I write this blog as a way of defending myself against a narrative that has been written about me by the HOUSTON CLAN and in a case called HOUSTON versus HOUSTON, and presented in a court of law.

    THE HOUSTON CLAN are the 4 adult wealthy and educated step-children of my now deceased mother. Plus, their spouses.

    This group of people didn’t like the way our parents wrote their wills. They wrote mirror wills, leaving everything to the surviving spouse. Good thing. However, the GANG didn’t like that they would have to wait for them both to die to get their inheritance. Waiting for my very elderly mother to die was more than they were willing to do.

    They harassed and harassed our parents to change their P/A and will, but they didn’t want to change it again. Dr. Bob, their father, did change his P/A demoting his son Dr. James because he didn’t trust his son James, so Dr. James ignored it and violated his fiduciary responsibilities and severed the joint tenancy on our parents condominium setting up a case to take my mother’s spousal rights from her. These two elderly people in the late 80’s felt they had done the right things for each other.and their children but his adult rich children didn’t agree.

    So, this blog is about what they did to get their inheritance without having to wait for them to both die.

    I was the scapegoat and fall-guy, the fly in the ointment.  I was used to enable their agenda. They lied and eviscerated me to feed their greed.

    They succeeded and the stress and distress of years of heart ache my mother killed herself. She had no underlying disease but had such a broken heart she could no loner keep herself alive.

    I am now struggling to keep myself alive for the life in me has gone and all I want to do is die.

    This blog will explain the story, in defense of my mother, my step-father and myself. I was not able/allowed to defend myself in a court of law – but I will on correct the record in this blog.

    I wish to correct the record and write my narrative, the one they wrote about me is a lie, Trump style.

    I also will speak to what I have learned about myself and my life. I grew up in a time when we didn’t know or speak about abuse, molestation trauma and dyslexia, issues I have struggled with. I came to the point in my life when I had to realize that something was wrong, my past and my family just didn’t add up and feel right, something was off and I needed to come to terms with it.

    You may reach me at louisefowler.speaksup
    @protonmail.com

    www.google.com/+LousieFowlerVancouver (WILL BE CHANGING SOON

    www.about.me/louisefowler

    www.pinterest.com
    /louisefowler64

  • FAMILY and EXTENDED FAMILY in otherwords……strangers

    ANGELA
    ANGELA
    HOOD COAT OF ARMS
    HOOD COAT OF ARMS
    ADMIRAL LORD HOOD, Mother's great great...
    ADMIRAL LORD HOOD, Mother’s great great…
    ANGELA
    ANGELA
    Mother's 1st husband after 2 weeks of marriage he was killed
    Mother’s 1st husband after 2 weeks of marriage he was killed
    ANGELA - DR. BOB 1977
    ANGELA – DR. BOB 1977
    DR. BOB - ANGELA'S HUSBAND
    DR. BOB – ANGELA’S HUSBAND
    She loved her PINTO
    She loved her PINTO
    MOTHER - ANGELA HOUSTON
    MOTHER – ANGELA HOUSTON
    COUSIN Susan Stroud MOLESTED ME
    COUSIN Susan Stroud MOLESTED ME
    Not long before Dr. Bob dies at 92
    Not long before Dr. Bob dies at 92
    ANGELA 2013 One week before she died
    ANGELA 2013 One week before she died
    Mother 2012
    Mother 2012
    Angela and Dr. Bob 2008
    Angela and Dr. Bob 2008
    ANGELA 2013 4 days before she died
    ANGELA 2013 4 days before she died
    Dr. Bob 2008
    Dr. Bob 2008
    FATHER - MOLESTED ME
    FATHER – MOLESTED ME
    THE FOWLER FAMILY
    THE FOWLER FAMILY
    Father 2005
    Father 2005
    FATHER and WIFE #3 2006 approx
    FATHER and WIFE #3 2006 approx
    Angela Houston 2007
    Angela Houston 2007
    Tony Fowler
    I WAS a victim to him
    I WAS a victim to him
  • HOUSTON CLAN…..children & spouses of mother’s husband Dr. Bob

  • A Lie is the intent to mislead
    A Lie is the intent to mislead
  • Read the case of HOUSTON v HOUSTON
    Read the case of HOUSTON v HOUSTON
  • AND IT DID!
    AND IT DID!
  • Narcissists/Socio/Psychopaths
    Narcissists/Socio/Psychopaths
  • Come out where ever you are
    Come out where ever you are
  • Categories

  • I REMEMBER/ I DO
    I REMEMBER/ I DO
  • JUST IN TIME
    JUST IN TIME
  • Follow LOUISE FOWLER SPEAKS UP on WordPress.com
  • POSTS

    • ANGELA – My Mother May 12, 2018
    • MY EXAMINED LIFE – THE MOVIE October 6, 2017
    • Guidelines I live by September 7, 2017
    • WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE ME August 27, 2017
    • YOUR LIFE IS WRITTEN IN INDELIBLE INK…….but the ink never really dries April 7, 2017
    • When the blow takes you down March 29, 2017
    • A Victim – A Survivor – A witness March 19, 2017
    • USE YOUR COMMON SENSE March 12, 2017
    • What I will take to my grave February 1, 2017
    • Dehumanizing the people we hurt February 1, 2017
    • Yes, I know….. January 11, 2017
    • It’s worth repeating……..Gaslighting January 11, 2017
    • Stop Shaming the Victim January 11, 2017
    • No one chooses to be a victim – victims have enough shame to go around January 11, 2017
    • Blame January 11, 2017
    • An extended family of “Flying Monkeys” January 10, 2017
    • Half-truths can be deeply demoralizing January 9, 2017
    • False Accusations January 9, 2017
    • Things Money Can’t Buy: then why is money like “god” to us. January 5, 2017
    • The Adverse Childhood Experience January 5, 2017
    • New Years Resolutions -indeed! January 1, 2017
    • Let them be mad! January 1, 2017
    • THE HOUSTON CLAN – The Feathers of gossips December 31, 2016
    • An earned relationship & forgiveness December 31, 2016
    • THE SCAPEGOAT & THE LOST CHILD December 31, 2016
    • Your Memory is a Work of Art December 30, 2016
    • Things are not always what they appear to be December 30, 2016
    • Pass it back and pay it forward December 16, 2016
    • One of the worst days of my life December 14, 2016
    • THE INHUMANITY OF IT ALL – What else are they capable of? December 14, 2016
  • ARCHIVE POSTS

  • FRIENDS & LOVERS…..and other strangers

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  • Experiences & Feelings

  • HOUSTON v HOUSTON
    HOUSTON v HOUSTON
  • healing-posters
  • complex-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-cptsd-1
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